EU Directive 3459-1564B Now Makes it Compulsary to Watch Eurovision Song Contest

BRUSSELS - Belgium - This year's Eurovision Song Contest will be compulsory viewing for anyone who lives in the Eurozone, an unelected EU bureaucrat revealed today.

“Ve haff just finalised the new directive which will come into place tomorrow. You haff to vatch ze Eurovision Song Contest if you live in ze EU. Ve vill be monitoring all homes in ze Britain (sector 24) especially, and if ve find someone not watching, zey vill get ze necessary punishment.”

It is not clear what punishment will be given for not watching the Eurovision contest or how it will be enforced by the EU, but some fear it could be severe, like being forced to watch every Eurovision song contest from 1956 onwards in one sitting whilst strapped to a chair with your eyelids taped open and massive headphones glued to your ears.

This year’s political voting session will be held in Copenhagen, Denmark. It will be interesting to see how many points Ukraine gives to Russia, and Greece gives to Cyprus. United Kingdom Nul points.

You will watch it and enjoy it.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: eu

Recent Posts

The Public Sacrifice of Trump and the Dawn of a New Age of Women

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The dawn of a new age of women calls for…

16 hours ago

Why Labour is Killing Off Aspiration, Entrepreneurs and Deterring Foreign Investors

LONDON - England - We provide the reasons why the Labour Party is killing off…

17 hours ago

It’s Over For Trump: The Swamp Preparing to Release Kamala

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Swamp is preparing to unleash Kamala Harris fully on…

2 days ago

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

3 days ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

3 days ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.