Summer Holiday Offers: Two Week Stay at Ebola Hotel All Inclusive

GUINEA - Africa - Our special summer holiday giveaway at the Ebola hotel is sure to make your mouth and eyes water.

The Daily Squib is offering a two week all-inclusive package holiday at the Ebola Hotel for our lucky summer holiday competition winners.

Here’s your chance to win a once in a lifetime, all-inclusive trip for a lucky competition winner to the world famous Ebola hotel resort in Guinea.

Luscious bat caves, wonderful tropical jungles teeming with bats, some of the world’s best dark nightspots and friendly locals fleeing for their lives.

Your stay at the 5 star rated Ebola hotel will be your own little holiday paradise lost.

Enjoy total relaxation on a decrepit dirty hospital bed being treated by clueless medics wearing decontamination suits whilst bleeding from the inside, vomiting and happily ejaculating copious amounts of diarrhoea from your poor tired puckering arsehole…

YOUR HOLIDAY INCLUDES

  • All Meals Consisting of Bat Meat and Assorted Bushmeat Infected With Deadly Pathogens
  • Premium Brand Virus Laden Bat Blood Liquor Distilled in the Jungle
  • Luxurious Accommodations in a Cave Full of Angry Pissing Bats
  • Gourmet Bat Dining Accompanied by Severe Incurable Dysentery
  • Projectile Vomiting into a Dirty Bucket Overflowing With Human Faeces
  • Roundtrip Airport Transfers in a Cardboard Coffin
  • All Bat Blood Drinks Free at Happy Hour
  • All Tips and Gratuities to the Doctors in Chem Suits
  • All Hotel Death Taxes
  • Watersports from the Smelly Bats Hanging in Caves
  • Funeral Services in an Unmarked Ditch Somewhere in the Jungle
Room service at the Ebola hotel

To win this exclusive holiday just answer this simple question.

“Where does Ebola come from?”

1) Idiots who eat bat and bushmeat

2) Bat blood and bushmeat when eaten

3) Bats

Terms and Conditions. Please send a postcard with the correct answer to Ebola Comp. 36 P.O. Box 456, Trimpleton Road, London, W1X D3. Competition will end on midnight some time next week. Employees of the Daily Squib are not allowed to enter the competition and neither is Batman.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: ebola

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

13 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

3 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

3 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.