A Montecito celebrity has relaunched her lifestyle brand, naming it Ass Ever and unveiling a new money making venture to dupe stupid Americans.
The former D-list star announced the news in a post on social media on Monday.
“I’m shocked we’ve kept this a secret for so long, despite my calculated PR leaks to news outlets periodically. In two weeks, my new show about me, me, myself and me is coming out, which I’m so excited for. And also my business, which I think there’s been a lot of curiosity about,” she said in a video on the social platform.
“It’s called Ass Ever. Ass Ever essentially means ass, like it’s always been ass, and you all know how I like to spout woke word salad constantly — it’s just more of that shit. This is what I do, and I haven’t been able to share it with you in the same way for the past few years because of some horrid British people I hate. But now I can,” she added.
Scratch ‘n’ Sniff
The celebrity unveiled the first product from Ass Ever, which was a large toilet brush which apparently smells like ass.
“Yep, it cleans the shit off your bowl after you’ve unloaded a large diarrhoea splatter down the side or whatever after eating one of my Netflix lifestyle cookery recipes. What’s great is we went to great lengths to make it actually smell like ass right out of the box, so this is real genuine Ass Ever stuff right there folks.”
For only $19.95 it’s a bargain.
This has to be about Sparkles.
Her barf inducing lifestyle show is gonna bomb so bad that they’re gonna have to move to Iraq
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Markle is nothing hope she disappears into obscurity because we’re sick of her and that lil boy of hers Harry.
Eh? Who is the celebrity? I don’t get it.