They are the most hated people in the world, the automaton virtue signalling indoctrinated little Stalins and little Hitlers who think they are morally above everyone else, where they claim to be woke “progressives” but are in fact intolerant regressives who are addicted to deluded ‘trendy’ omnicauses and are outrage-seeking fucking morons.
Well, they have found a new craze, and for a change this one seems to be rather useful.
According to media reports in California, and places like Islington and Hackney in the UK, woke people are flocking to specialist surgeons to undergo a proprietary treatment that has been resurrected from the 1940s. Yes, we’re talking lobotomies. It’s the new woke trend for the wokerati, and far-left Marxist social justice warriors are loving it.
British and American universities have also seen an up tick in both woke students and the tutors who indoctrinate them, flocking to the surgeons to have their frontal lobe’s severed.
The surgical procedure was pioneered by the Portuguese neurologist and Nobel Laureate António Egas Moniz in 1935. The lobotomy (Leucotomy) involves severing connections in the brain’s prefrontal cortex. The surgery causes most of the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex, the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain, to be severed.
Professor Almada Rinkin, who has performed over 1,500 lobotomies on progressive woke patients in the last three months, has revealed the simplicity of the operation and its amazing results.
“We bring these raving extremist lunatics who wrongly call themselves “progressives” into the operating room and give them some general anaesthetic. Some of them continue babbling on about whichever cause they are fighting that particular week. It’s okay, we let them babble on. Before the procedure, they are clearly indoctrinated by some sort of ideology, but after a few tweaks to their frontal lobe, a little slicing here or there, boom! They are cured. We tested one blue-haired woman who came in ranting about the virtues of throwing orange paint over priceless paintings in art galleries for the cause of the environment. After the procedure, which took less than half an hour, the patient did not even know what an oil painting was or even cared about such things as eco causes.
“On another occasion, a patient could not stop ranting about the virtues of transgender men in women’s sports and shower rooms. We cured this person in less than fifteen minutes. After the procedure, we showed the patient a photograph of a large man with a moustache wearing a dress whilst playing volleyball for an all-female team. The patient did not even twitch or acknowledge the subject matter in the photo.”
Because of the demand for the operations, there is now a large backlog of woke progressives awaiting the surgical procedure, and although it is not advised, some are performing the procedure on themselves. If you are a woke progressive, please do not use a pencil or other sharp object on yourself, you must seek professional medical advice first so that your illness can be cured in a clinical, safe environment.
