17.7 C
London
Thursday, December 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentWhy Are Harry and Meghan Trying to Learn Portuguese?

Why Are Harry and Meghan Trying to Learn Portuguese?

MONTECITO - USA - Harry and Meghan have hired a private tutor to teach them both Portuguese.

Only a few months ago, Prince Harry could not even point out where the country of Portugal was on a world map, let alone try to learn the language, but situations change sometimes. Harry and Meghan have both hired a Portuguese language tutor to come to their 18 bathroom Mcmansion in Montecito twice a week to try to teach them how to speak Portuguese.

guenon-feeding-baby-monkey HARRYAccording to the tutor Raúl Ortega, teaching Harry, especially, has not been an easy task.

“I do not wish to badmouth my employers because they pay very well, but let us just say, I would have more luck teaching Portuguese to a monkey than Prince Harry. He seems to have a very, very, low IQ, and no grasp of linguistics in any shape or form.”

But, what about Meghan, surely she is a better pupil?

“Not really. Every three seconds, she is checking the news on the internet about herself on her cell phone. She is also calling PR people constantly and informing paparazzi photographers about where she will be the next day, or where she will be shopping. It is very tiresome in the least.”

Prince Harry may be thrown out of the USA soon because he lied about his penchant for heavy drug use on his entrance visa into the country. This is why the couple may have to flee to Portugal soon.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. Maybe Harry needs to stop doing coke? I know he went to Diddy’s party and they had a table laid out with lines of coke. They saw Harry snorting nearly all the lines in one go. He loves that sht!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!