17.7 C
London
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainment'Influencer' Piece of Sh*t Living in the Lap of Luxury Travels the...

‘Influencer’ Piece of Sh*t Living in the Lap of Luxury Travels the World in Five-Star Hotels and Boasts a 75-PIECE Wardrobe Worth $2,500

TORONTO - Canada - A three-year-old Instagram influencer piece of sh*t has been jetting off on trips to France and Mexico

  • A three-year-old influencer piece of shit has been jetting off on trips to France and Mexico
  • He has built up a loyal social media following thanks to owner Pho King Quant
  • The Toronto native, 39, gave birth to the six-pound poop during the pandemic

The three-year-old piece of shit, who lives in Toronto, Canada, has been jetting off on lavish vacations with 37-year-old owner Pho King Quant.

The inseparable duo have built up a loyal social media following of more than 167,000 fans by documenting their five-star getaways to hotspots including France and Mexico.

Pho has also been showcasing the piece of shit’s extensive clothes collection, which includes Chanel silk scarves, turtleneck sweaters and statement sunglasses.

Pho gave birth through her anus to the six-pound poop during the coronavirus pandemic, but the duo didn’t set off on vacation together until 2022.

The piece of shit’s first trip was on a four-hour flight to Lake Louise, Alberta, but he has since gone much further afield.

His debut international trip was to Paris – where the pair stayed at the Hotel Louvre Saint-Merde, dined at the iconic Café de Dégueuler and visited the Eiffel Tower.

eiffel Paris shit

Next, the influencer piece of shit went to Mexico where he enjoyed poolside massages, luxurious meals and endless treats.

‘I never wanted to travel without him because he’s my baby boy,’ Pho King Quant told Fox.

But the piece of shit, who usually dines on a raw food diet including homemade diarrhoea broth, does not travel light.

poolside instagram influencer

‘Since he was a little nugget, I’ve liked to match his clothes to my neutral aesthetic with trench coats and denim, but my piece of shit is partial to a Hawaiian shirt when on holiday.’

His doting owner even created a poopy fashion brand called The Turd Collection with the website offering items that are adorably named, The Winnit Coat, Casually Cool Dingleberry Sweater and Tropical Turd Skidmark Shirt.

Pho King Quant admitted that although there were additional costs associated with travelling with her shitty friend, he was ‘more than worth it.’  Besides, being an influencer piece of shit brings in serious sponsorship money with companies paying up to $50,000 for a single post on Instagram, and like all influencers, it’s all tax-free revenue.

instagram influencer home

Best Decision 

She told the outlet: ‘Shitting out my piece of shit was the best decision, and he’s like my perfect match.’

Pho continues to showcase his ‘sassy personality’ online as his Instagram bio proclaims: ‘I like to dress up, travel and dine at blue bottle fly-friendly restaurants.’

Influencer Website

The turd’s personal website states: ‘I feel super comfortable in front of the camera. When I am not modelling, I love naps and walks.

‘I know the following tricks: sit, stay, down, come, boop, chin down, dance, pray, rollover, kiss kiss, and cuddle time.

‘I also love to hit up Shit Friendly Patios and go on Shit Friendly adventures with my Family.

‘I love giving mommy kisses. I have one shitty fold that likes to flop down most of the time!’

Discussing what could be next for the duo, Pho King Quant told Fox News: ‘We would also like to go back to Europe to visit Italy, and we will go back to Mexico because we loved it so much.’

She is also keen to take her piece of shit to Beverly Hills in order for him to experience a real-life version of the movie Beverly Hills Smelly Turd.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

6 COMMENTS

  1. Imagine the smell in his hotel room and when he goes for a swim in the pool at least he’ll be a floater.

  2. I hate Instagram influencersplus this story is the best example of those parasites. Thank you Daily Squib. Breath of fresh air reading your funny article. 🙂

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!