You may or may not have heard of Kathleen Kennedy, the Disney/Lucasfilm film producer who single-handedly destroyed the Star Wars franchise, but in a turn of events that will have many puking into their popcorn bags, she is back again to ‘wokify’ the Indiana Jones franchise. No wonder Spielberg walked away from this one.
This time, Luke Skywalker is not depicted milking green milk out of some alien’s teats for his morning cereal, but poor old ageing Harrison Ford has to deal with his feminist woke god-daughter played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
In a stunning display of creative destruction, Kennedy has re-emerged on the scene once again much like an unwanted case of bubbling super Gonorrhoea, armed with the most powerful weapon of our time: woke soviet political correctness and a hyper-woke ideology. With an unwavering commitment to dismantling every cherished film franchise, this producer has become a force to be reckoned with, leaving no trope unscathed and no story untarnished. You want your cherished film franchise completely destroyed? Then bring in Kathleen Kennedy to decimate, eviscerate and kill off any semblance of joy film watchers had in past films.
Gone are the days when filmmakers simply entertained audiences with captivating narratives and timeless characters. This visionary producer has taken it upon herself to be the moral compass of the industry, ensuring that every film conforms to the rigid guidelines of social justice, hardcore feminism, inclusivity, and, of course, the ever-elusive “woke” political indoctrination factor.
Remember, Wokism is a nefarious soviet communist technique that cannot create anything new, it can only ruin the past, and history.
No longer can we revel in the simple pleasures of escapism and suspend our disbelief. Kathleen Kennedy, like a self-appointed guardian of virtue, has made it her mission to infuse every frame with a heavy-handed political agenda. Forget about character development or engaging storytelling—what truly matters is the progressive sovietised virtue-signalling message of the day.
Want a classic film franchise revitalized? Well, think again. Prepare yourself for the unapologetic onslaught of contrived diversity, where characters are shoehorned in based on arbitrary identity quotas rather than actual narrative relevance. Who needs a coherent plot when you can have a checklist of social justice buzzwords?
But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no, Kennedy won’t rest until every cherished aspect of a film franchise is distorted beyond recognition. Time-honoured traditions and iconic elements are cast aside like yesterday’s rubbish, all in the name of appeasing the perpetually outraged Twitter mob. Because, let’s face it, the true measure of artistic success lies in the number of retweets and “likes” from the cunting woke brigade.
Say goodbye to fun and entertainment, folks. Prepare yourself for two hours of guilt-ridden self-reflection and lectures on privilege. Who needs escapism when you can have a relentless barrage of finger-wagging and sermonizing? Isn’t that what we all signed up for when we bought our film tickets?
So, let us raise a toast to this illustrious producer, who valiantly ruins every film franchise she touches in the name of progress and virtue signalling. Bravo! The destruction of beloved stories and the alienation of loyal fans have never been more en vogue.
In the end, we can only hope that sanity and creative freedom will prevail. But until then, buckle up, dear audience, for the ride of a lifetime. Just don’t expect it to be enjoyable, coherent, or remotely faithful to the source material. After all, who needs a successful film franchise when you can have a preachy, politically correct mess?
