Tulisa to Perform For Court Judge on Cocaine Case

ESSEX - England - Ex X-Factor judge Tulisa Contostavrosopoulos is to perform one of her usual tricks on a judge for her new court case so she can get off a drugs rap, she has told the Sun newspaper.

“She’s used to performing for judges so she can get roles on TV, so she’s going to visit the judge’s house before her court case. This is quite a well rehearsed routine for Tulisa and she is guaranteed to get what she wants,” a Music Biz insider revealed today.

The talented starlet is used to getting her own way and will go to the judge’s house armed with her own x-factor knee pads which have ensured her meteoric rise in the music industry.

“It’s a tried and tested method she has used for years, and she is no stranger to the white stuff,” her agent and drug dealer boyfriend, Biggie Blackcox, told the Sun.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: crimedrugsuk

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

9 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

19 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

21 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.