“You gotta buy this frickin’ coffee it was engineered by a feminist dear friend of mine using sustainable carbon neutral eco-conscious ecosexual coffee materials farmed in sustainable Freetrade ecolocal farms, and is even packaged with sustainable biodegradable eco upcycled materials. The fact that everything is infested with microplastics is neither here nor there. Only $185 per 20 gram serving. Sure all you frickin’ plebs have lost your jobs due to lockdowns and COVID, and y’all haven’t sold out to Netflix for $450 million, but buy this frickin coffee right now. Forget about your debts for one second, or where your next meal is coming from. You have to fund my friend’s expensive femin-eco made coffee company that I investisized in, so she can live a rich lifestyle like me off the backs of exploited peasant coffee farmers in some shit hole South American toilet country!” Meghan said emphatically in her new video.
Meanwhile, Meghan’s next door neighbour, Oprah was also selling the same coffee.
Filmed in her luxurious $879,000 kitchen, Oprah was quite the sales woman.
“Hmm, hmmm, dang, dis shit is like goddamn rocket fuel! Y’all have to buy this, forget about crack cocaine, dis shit is more expensive per gramme and will make you go bankrupt in less than two months unless you have a Netflix deal or a syndicated show like me, muffuggas! Forget about your kids college fund, Covid made that redundant anyway, you just need to buy this fuckin’ coffee. Yesterday I axed Meghan, I said where she got that coffee from girl? She said it sustainable and only grown by females, and I love bush myself, so I sank right in. Buy it now, Meghan needs more millions!”
