Liam Gallagher Stopped From Exiting London Zoo

LONDON - England - Former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher was stopped from leaving London Zoo yesterday whilst on a day trip with his wife Nicole Appleton.

Zoo keeper Ed Burrows, said that he was in the ape enclosure when he saw what looked like a primate trying to escape the zoo.

“We got the tranquiliser gun out and shot it but it just wouldn’t go down. We even tried to entice it with some bananas but that didn’t work. Eventually after the fourth dart, it went down but on close inspection we realised our mistake.”

The zoo has apologised unreservedly to Liam Gallagher who was given a voucher for a year’s visiting for free.

Liam Gallagher was not available for comment today but sources say he has one hell of a hangover after getting hit by those tranquiliser darts.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: celebrityuk

Recent Posts

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

7 hours ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

14 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

1 day ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

2 days ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.