Man Finds Life on Mars Behind Sofa

DELAWARE - USA - A 34-year-old Goonsville man has claimed he has finally found Life on Mars behind his stained red Ikea sofa.

“I was looking for the CD for two whole days. It’s my favourite David Bowie record and I finally found it in the back crack of my sofa. I felt so liberated, like I had achieved something. Thank you, there really is Life on Mars and even though there were ketchup stains all up the box I just wiped it off and it’s as good as new,” Budd Mayerschlitz, told local news outlets after finding the long lost album.

The good news was also hailed by the man’s long-suffering girlfriend Irene Danitz, who said: “He was getting ready to download the whole album for free from some torrent site but I stopped him. We want Bowie to get some royalties because his shite new album will probably only sell about 50 copies worldwide and downloading music for free is an awful thing to do to artists.”

NASA meanwhile has not found any life on Mars.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: us

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

5 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

2 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

2 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.