17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentGérard Depardieu Eats Vladimir Putin

Gérard Depardieu Eats Vladimir Putin

SARANSK - Russia - Gérard Depardieu has eaten the Russian president, Vladimir Putin, the Kremlin announced Saturday, after the French film star had a sudden hunger pang during an impromptu visit to escape a millionaires tax from his homeland.

The Russian president, who is considerably smaller than Depardieu, tried to run away when the hungry Frenchman took out a bucket of Hollandaise sauce and grabbed Mr Putin with his chubby fat fingers. The details are too graphic to describe here.

“It was all over in a few moments. Putin never had a chance. This is a sad day for mother Russia,” Sergei Molotov, a Russian reporter at the scene said.

Mr Depardieu was on a trip to Russia to gain citizenship and avoid the punitive tax system brought in by French socialist president Francois Hollande.

“He touched down in Russia four days ago but all they have there is cabbage soup, cabbage salad, cabbage and vodka casserole and pickled cabbage. He must have been starving poor chap, he is only used to the finest French cuisine and not that Russki peasant slop,” Pierre Lejardin, a writer and friend of Depardieu‘s revealed.

President Vladimir Putin will be remembered as a staunch defender of Russia, and even though he liked to pose as a hard man in photo shoots, was actually a quiet reserved individual.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!