Entertainment

Meghan Markle Proud of Her Pre-Op Teenage Years

ONTARIO - Canada - Former royal, Meghan Markle has been reminiscing about her teenage pre-plastic surgery days.

Former member of the Windsor family, Meghan Markle has been relating back to her teenage years, after her dad released some lovely pictures showing the budding beauty who was to become so famous.

“I’m glad my dad released those pics of me before I made him pay thousands of dollars in plastic surgery and skin whitening,” Meghan told trash celebrity site TMZ.

The pictures were taken when Meghan was only 15 years old, and show how she has profoundly changed her looks and skin colour in order to one day fool a member of Britain’s royal family into marrying her.

“To get the plastic finished look I have today, I made my dad pay literally hundreds of thousands of dollars, and then I ghosted him. Even though I made shit loads of cash, and married a rich chump, I never paid my dad back, and I treated him like a piece of trash.”

Meghan and Harry, who have lost their HRH style, are now encamped in a Russian Kremlin-tied criminal’s 12 million dollar villa in Canada.

“Every morning I awake, I brush my fake veneer teeth, put on makeup on my fake face, and fake a smile to Harry who I am using until his usefulness is used up,” she says hurriedly, looking at her watch.

Glad to be out of Britain which is a country she detests because unlike America, people actually saw her for what she is, Meghan is keen to start cashing in on her fame by fleecing the dumb Americans with her fake celebrity.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

7 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

2 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

2 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.