Brit Awards Exclusive: The State of the Music Biz Today

This year’s Brit Awards, is a sort of commentary on how the music biz has deteriorated to such a state that it is not actually a music biz anymore.

Amongst the preening dresses and high pitched bellowing, we find a music biz where the actual musicality has been completely diminished to zero.

“Can you play a musical instrument? Have you ever sung live? Do you know what a bridge is? Have you ever played a G minor 7 chord?” someone asks Jua Dipa, one of the many female starlets on the set.

The answer to all questions is obviously an emphatic ‘no’ as she gets ready for her mime set by propping up her designer couture dress and her tits.

To see all these powdered up trollops in their Hollywood gowns all prancing around trying to outdo each other with their looks, is of course a breath of fresh air for many, because it is feminism that got them there, and not talent, it is still justified, but don’t mention the fact that their brand of feminism means they can fellate producers to get ahead, and still champion the #MeToo movement.

“None of these women can sing, write coherent songs, or perform live, but they are the music biz today. It’s just a female-centric fashion show now showcasing mediocrity and banality. They are only there because they have the woman card and look good. They all sound like moaning pregnant cats on heat. Nothing else,” a music commentator revealed.

One only has to look at the Billboard charts to see this phenomenon enacted with strange curiosity. The charts are now completely full of non-artistry, non-musicians no creativity, and no talent. Everything is run completely by marketing teams paying outlets to play their template autotuned shit en masse to audiences that know nothing better.

“If you play enough crap to people, they will eventually accept the crap, because they have nothing else to listen to, and because the crap is touted as the latest thing in crap it is then accepted 100%. To hear the caterwauling cacophony of today’s female dominated songs screeching their usually anti-male lyrics is like having big bags of oestrogen dripping all over the place, incessantly, never relenting. Untalented, moaning, these girls who have never even probably seen a musical instrument or relented over hours and years of slavish practice to hone their craft are now representing the music biz,” another disgusted musicologist revealed.

If you go to a bagpipe factory, you will hear better sounds than the people who populate the current music biz screeching today.

It’s the same old template Antares autotune RnB atrocities that are a sign that true creativity has not touched the music biz since the 1990s. You can listen to most stuff recorded before that date, but something very wrong happened afterwards. Was it the mass proliferation of the internet, or the RnB, the domination of one-size-fits-all templates created by the same linear software?

Sure, there are probably many culpable variables for the complete and utter destruction of any musicality or creativity in the music biz, but one thing is sure, maybe one day record companies will become brave enough to actually commission real artists again. It’s risky, there can be losses, but at least we might have some real rock stars, and musicians back up there and not this flock of detritus, suppurating talentless fake fucks miming on stages to songs they never wrote or care about. Fuck these people. They don’t deserve to live let alone mime.