Entertainment

Meghan: The Last Thing an Overworked Prostitute Needs is Another Banana

BRISTOL - England - Meghan Markle presented bananas with empowering words written on them to tired prostitutes just after another night shift.

Imagine the scene, overworked prostitutes who sell their wares for £4 a pot to feed their next heroin hit, up all night in some freezing dangerous Bristol street servicing punters by the double dozen, turning up at a charity for some food after a long and arduous shift, only to be confronted by a banana gift with a little ’empowering’ affirmation hastily written on it from Harry and Meghan.

“I’ve got an idea!”

Sure you have Meghan, as Harry looks on in abject horror.

One can almost imagine the sheer disappointment the ladies of the night get when the last thing they want to see is another engorged long thing sticking in their faces.

“I was up all night blowing and jerking. Must have done forty last night. I did all of that for £12.46, and this is why I need to come to the charity for food, because I spend the money on my crack fix. I got there and they stuck a large banana in me face. I nearly chundered over it, and oh look, it says ‘I’m special’ on it. I didn’t feel so special last night up to my eyeballs in greasy smelly cocks!”

One royal commentator pushed up their nose and quipped: “Does the Queen of Crassness have any other ideas to make the royals look like a bunch of absolute arseholes?”

While all this was going on, Meghan told Harry to sit in the corner and be a good boy. Poor old Harry, can’t get a word through anymore, slinking in the corner of the room, as all the prostitutes filed by one at a time banana in hand displaying looks of utter disgust and dismay.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Why Labour is Killing Off Aspiration, Entrepreneurs and Deterring Foreign Investors

LONDON - England - We provide the reasons why the Labour Party is killing off…

7 hours ago

It’s Over For Trump: The Swamp Preparing to Release Kamala

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Swamp is preparing to unleash Kamala Harris fully on…

2 days ago

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

2 days ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

2 days ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

3 days ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.