Entertainment

The Indomitable Gauls ‘Gilets Jaunes’ Triumph Against Caesar Macron

PARIS - France - The indomitable Gaul Gilets Jaunes have a secret weapon they have been using against Caesar Macron's centurions.

Chief Vitalstatix is adamant that his horde of invincible Gaul Gilets Jaunes will not be defeated by the centurions who are subjugating the people unnecessarily with brutal methods of tear gas and beating.

The EU invaders led by Caesar Macron, do not know however that the Gauls have a secret to their successful rioting.

“We have our own druid, named Getafix. Yes, every morning before the riots proceed, in the back of the crowd, Getafix will be assembling the Gilets Jaunes all together in an orderly queue to receive their fix of his special recipe, a concoction so secret that Caesar Macron has sent his deadliest assassins and spies to try and steal. This magic potion is the secret of the Gilets Jaunes, and can never be revealed to anyone,” one Gilet Jaunes, Fulliautomatix, a local Parisian car mechanic revealed.

“Paf!” another centurion in riot gear flies up into the air, uppercutted by a furious Gaul. He briefly reaches the clouds before looking down and falling whilst flapping his truncheon trying to fly crashing through the Arc de Triomphe with an almighty splatting sound.

Caesar Macron has vowed to crush the Gauls and is developing his own secret potion in Brussels.

“I have asked our own druid, Jean-Claude Drunkalotix, for a solution to these invincible Gaul upstarts and he is concocting his own potion. The only problem is he is too drunk to do anything more because he keeps tasting it for flavour. Cognac, more cognac, and even more cognac! C’est impossible!”

On we go, how long will our Gallic heroes hold out to the increasingly brutal methods from the cohorts of centurions?

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

7 hours ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

14 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

1 day ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

2 days ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.