Ashton Kutcher Grounded

According to Hollywood insiders, the reason for Kutcher’s silence and disappearance for the last couple of weeks is because his mother grounded him and told him to stay in his room.

“We heard she even took away his computer. Poor little bastard is now stuck in his room with only his books and a few toys. She also took away his cell phone,” Artie Rizzo, a long time friend of Kutcher told TMZ.

It’s not only affecting his social life but his work as well. On the set of ‘Two and a Half Men’ there has been no sign of Kutcher, and producers are getting anxious.

Speaking from the series’ studios, producer Hymie Rosenblatz, said: “This guy’s worse than that other loser, Charlie Sheen, why can’t you get reliable fuckin’ actors anymore? We paid this Kutcher dude bucket loads of cash, for what? He’s grounded you say? What the hell, I’m going to go to that guy’s house and ground him for sure, make him into friggin’ ground beef.”