Peter Andre to Save Greece With Benefit Concert

ATHENS - Greece - Pop star Peter Andre is to hold a benefit concert in Athens next week to save Greece from bankruptcy.

“Greece’s future survival depends on Peter Andre’s cheesy chav tunes. This is the reality of the situation. I think we’re all fucked now for sure,” Greek Finance minister, Stavrou Meatporko, told Greek television yesterday.

The Peter Andre concert has already attracted some attention and 34 tickets were sold in two whole days of sales.

To speed up ticket sales, Team Andre is even thinking of hiring the unthinkable — Katie Price.

“We figure if we have Katie out front on stage. When she takes off her clothes and shows everyone her silicone beach balls as well as her perfectly manicured well-used prolapsed meat curtains, we’ll have people literally fainting in the aisles. The smell alone will knock people out. That’s when we do a special collection and empty out those suckers’ pockets even more,” Pete’s manager, Agnes Bartholomew, told the Sun.

Another Greek pop starlet, George Michael, was also put up for the benefit concert but was sadly unavailable for the event.

“Mr Michael is currently busy with a major project that has been in the planning phase for over four years. He is building Europe’s largest public lavatory for men in Hampstead Heath. The monumental project will populate 126 acres of land and incorporate every luxury known to the lavatory industry. The massive cottaging farm will ensure that millions of male visitors from all over the world will come to it every year thus increasing revenue for the local economy,” Archibald Westlake, head of public services for Camden Council, told the BBC.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

9 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

20 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

21 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.