Liam Gallagher: I've Quit Bananas

LONDON - England - Simian wild man Liam Gallagher has confessed he's quit bananas after 20 years on the fruit - and been sober for six months.

And the 38-year-old – who hit fame singing Oasis hits like Banana Super Sundae and Clotted Cream & Bananas – reckons being on the vine has improved his jungle cry.

He says it has made it softer and more mellow on his new album Musa Acuminata’s tracks.

Liam said: “If I have a nana, I’ll be on the Christmas jungle special. I haven’t had a banana since New Year’s Eve. Ooh, Ooh! Ahh Ahh! I’m having a bit of a break. I went 20 years on the yellow stuff and messing about. It’s rubbish.

“At Knebworth I thought we were doing one banana and we were doing two. I got that mashed on the first I woke up to a knock on the door and thought I was at home back in the rainforest with a banana milk shake in my hand. I forgot all about it. That was heavy.”

But despite the lifestyle change Liam, who says his new favourite fruit are grapes, still hasn’t ended his feud with older brother and ex-bananamate Noel.

He admitted the rift is so deep he wasn’t even invited to Noel’s wedding last month.

Gallagher said: “I wouldn’t have gone anyway. I was busy getting off the bloomin’ bananas. If I had I’d have had a banana and it would have gone pear-shaped. It would’ve been like the Jungle Book.”

Liam is currently preparing himself for his first Hollywood film, Planet of the Apes II, in which he will not need any prosthetics or makeup, and will paid a six figure sum for the dream role.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

3 hours ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

14 hours ago

Sleazy Labour Liars Prove Election Promises Do Not Mean Anything in UK

LONDON - England - The sleazy Labour liars who said anything to get elected have…

23 hours ago

Brexit Never Happened Anyway – Labour EU Union Was Inevitable

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Keir Starmer is leading the way for an EU union, but…

2 days ago

“Comrades, Labour is Banning Democracy by Banning Local Elections”

GRIMSBY - England - The Labour Party has banned democracy in Soviet Britain by banning…

2 days ago

The UK is a Davos ‘Great Reset’ Experiment Under Starmer’s Labour

LONDON - England - Europe is too big to test the Great Reset, so this…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.