17.7 C
London
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentLiam Gallagher: I've Quit Bananas

Liam Gallagher: I've Quit Bananas

LONDON - England - Simian wild man Liam Gallagher has confessed he's quit bananas after 20 years on the fruit - and been sober for six months.

And the 38-year-old – who hit fame singing Oasis hits like Banana Super Sundae and Clotted Cream & Bananas – reckons being on the vine has improved his jungle cry.

He says it has made it softer and more mellow on his new album Musa Acuminata’s tracks.

Liam said: “If I have a nana, I’ll be on the Christmas jungle special. I haven’t had a banana since New Year’s Eve. Ooh, Ooh! Ahh Ahh! I’m having a bit of a break. I went 20 years on the yellow stuff and messing about. It’s rubbish.

“At Knebworth I thought we were doing one banana and we were doing two. I got that mashed on the first I woke up to a knock on the door and thought I was at home back in the rainforest with a banana milk shake in my hand. I forgot all about it. That was heavy.”

But despite the lifestyle change Liam, who says his new favourite fruit are grapes, still hasn’t ended his feud with older brother and ex-bananamate Noel.

He admitted the rift is so deep he wasn’t even invited to Noel’s wedding last month.

Gallagher said: “I wouldn’t have gone anyway. I was busy getting off the bloomin’ bananas. If I had I’d have had a banana and it would have gone pear-shaped. It would’ve been like the Jungle Book.”

Liam is currently preparing himself for his first Hollywood film, Planet of the Apes II, in which he will not need any prosthetics or makeup, and will paid a six figure sum for the dream role.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!