17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentWhitney Houston Eats Whole Crack Rock During CBS Early Show Appearance

Whitney Houston Eats Whole Crack Rock During CBS Early Show Appearance

CHICAGO - USA - CBS's Early Show was at the centre of a massive drugs bust this morning when special guest, Whitney Houston, ate a whole rock of crack whilst showcasing her special jerk chicken recipe.

“She was cooking up more than her Jamaican Jerk chicken for sure. She popped that crack rock into her mouth and started chewing like a motherfucker,” Early Show host Harry Smith said after the DEA stormed the studio during filming.

Audience members say they saw Ms Houston take the large crack rock out of her “fucked up hairdo” and pop it in her mouth. She then started to stir the Jerk chicken recipe wildly in the pot and her eyes rolled up in their sockets whilst uttering a godawful banshee squeal of ecstasy.

“She chewed that crack rock like it was a lump of sugar. I guess she couldn’t hold on. Hell, the recipe segment is only about three minutes long but she still took that rock and couldn’t even wait to go back stage,” CBS anchor, Julie Chen, admiringly quipped after the show.

Whitney Houston was arrested by DEA officers during the show and taken away still singing her hit song “I Will Always Love You”and snorting like a wild pig.

CBS received thousands of complaints from viewers later on, and have vowed to review the quality of celebrity guests that appear on the family show.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

24 COMMENTS

  1. You people are something serious! Here we have one of Gods children gone, and you have the nerve to right away assume you know what happened to Whitney! as if you were there.That was someone's mother,daughter,sister and friend this could happen to anyone of us,and just because she was famous you haters need to stop being so judge mental.This could happen to you.(I know you are saying that it can't but are you sure!I guess you can see the future huh!We'll you cant so find yourselves a heart and a brain and pray that this does not touch close to home with you if you know what I mean.

  2. You are a totally heartless person! You never know how you will end up on day this could be you or a family member of yours so keep those lame ass comments to yourself

  3. Why don't you pray to your god for the ability to write a coherent sentence, you ignorant fool. The only thing that could have saved Whitney Houston was herself. Taking control of her own life. Taking a good long look at herself in the mirror, and pulling her shit together. More 12 step, higher power crap. God has nothing to do with it!

  4. I never found anything to fulfill my need
    Crack was a lonely place to be
    I should have learned to depend on weed

    -Whitney Houston

  5. People dont beat up on her,,,,she was really weak….once she ask god into her heart and ask him for forgivness,…he will forgive her …she might be in heaven,,,,is for us who is alive to try to live the right way……the bible says no man is perfect,,,she might just do that one thing…and we who is trashing her is doing 95 more wrong than her,,,,there is no big sin nor little sin alll sin is sin….so people try and ask god to forgive us as she is resting in peace,,,,,,,,i no she touch my life and i no i will be praying for those out there is is weak in flesh,,,,,so R.I.P MY DEAR GOD IS READY FOR U,,,,SO PEOPLE DONT WORRY SHE IS IN A BETTER PLACE RIGHT NOW……

  6. Yep crack whore ended up where all crack heads end up sooner rather than later! Good voice too bad she was too selfish and wasted it all on drugs n alcohol! No sympathy from me what so ever!

  7. The drugs killed you sweet baby may you rest in peace. You will be away from all the trouble now and can sing in heaven.

    RIP Whitney

    Alissa

  8. Dear Marcus, Before posting such ignorant statements, (that means lacking knowledge), perhaps you should do some research! First of all "Crack" is a lOWER purity of Cocaine, not cocaine with all the cut cooked off!! Why do you think its cheaper than powder coke and less ritzy (meaning fancy) of a drug than powder coke? Look it up! Perhaps you are the one who needs to get a life since Whitney can't…… because she's dead from CRACK you moron!!! I guess your right, she isn't on drugs anymore now!

  9. so what? I smoke crack everyday nuttin wrong with that?

    U can live perfectly ok I gotta good job and a family..

  10. I am truly sickened by reading this, does she not know that there are little girls who look up to her and love her songs? Why is this woman applauded and made to look like a star when she is nothing but a two bit crack hoe from the ghetto?

  11. Nigga needs to stop munching on da crack rock, get back in ta singing not sinnin. Hell if she joined my church the pastor wld soon cure her. Jesus saves go to church Whitney or your skankass wil end up on the row

  12. god bless whitney i love all of her songs and all that she does..so she does a lil crack here and there, but hey she can sing and she is a star she a diva she a heroin of mine and i will always love her for what she done for me when i listen to her recors i cry with joy a little crack here n there aint gonna hurt let her have some fun let her be herself and enjoy her life cuz she works hard for her goodies, yoy know what im saying? let her be …thats what im saying to you all

  13. Anyone who knows anything about crack knows that crack is cocaine that has all the cut cooked off ad it is essentially pure cocaine…A rock the size of the piece she is eating in this picture would kill an elephant if were eaten whole. You people gotta get a life…She has made mistakes but she is not on drugs anymore people…educate yourselves to the TRUE signs of drug addiction, then when you spot them try to help the person for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of GOD!

  14. Whitney gotta lotta moxie doin’ dat on da Early Show..? Bitch musta thot she wuz rustlin’ somethin up fo Bobby!!!!!

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!