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New FBI Files Reveal Michael Jackson Faked Moonwalk

LOS ANGELES - USA - Conspiracy theorists were vindicated today after newly released FBI files revealed how the late Michael Jackson faked his famous moonwalk.

For years conspiracy theorists and other crazies have been talking about how Michael Jackson faked the moonwalk.

“We’ve been talking about it for frickin’ years. The lighting was all wrong and there were multiple shadows in the footage. We knew it was faked and now these FBI files have proved us right goddamn it,” Lars Emmereich, a conspiracy theorist from Lake Utah told the BBC.

The newly released FBI files reveal that Jackson would perform the moonwalk on a specially designed greased up stage with an intricate network of moving wooden compartments connected to a pulley system. There would be teams of up to thirty stage hands who would pull ropes through trolleys and squirt grease onto the stage so the star could effortlessly seem to glide backwards.

Conspiracy theorists had been posting on websites and bulletin boards on the internet for many years before the amazing revelations came to light yesterday.

“I feel like a whole big weight has been taken off my shoulders. I salute the FBI for this expose, my tinfoil hat nearly fell off when I read it in the papers,” Mr Emmereich added.

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18 COMMENTS

  1. Thats not true, thats inpossable to fake . And inpossable to pull those wood planks
    Jeffrey Daniels ould do it

  2. I can’t believe this sh@t?!?!?! You say What?!?! Lemme tells you pple, Michael was the meanest groviest dancer this side of Mars. He was da man and to see sum dumbass internet site and the stupif FBI saying otherwise is a disgrace to talent!!!! Leave Michael alone!!! He was the best this world have ever seen and thats the truth sow help me god!!!!RIP Michael I love you so much I cry every day!!! I now you would forgive these people and their follys!!!!!

  3. This story was emailed to me and I beleive it is true, some of you say this is a fake but I think that the FBI really were trying to discredit Michael. Why did they not reveal their lies when he was alive? Why wait until he was dead? Are the FBI cowerds? Please someone tell me? WTF is going on in this world that a good decent person like MJ would be hounded by the FBI and have lies printed about him. MJ was an angel, he was a sweet angel who was crucified by the evil people who anly have hatred in theyre hearts.

  4. The goverment should stop using the FBI. Every MJ fan gotta write to Obama and tell him to stop using the FBI cuz their liars and thieves. What kind of a organization would mess with a dead person. MJ is barely in his grave poor soul and these animals come and try to ruin him. He’s dad, he’s six foot under!!!! FBI soon gonna be out of business!!!!

  5. People! The Daily Squib is about satire. It`s a a comic site!!
    The stories you read here are not real, they are all just jokes based on the latest news.
    I can`t belive noone has realized that…
    The humour is so obvious ! Please read the about-section to learn about the background of this comic newspaper.

  6. Michael never faked the moonwalk. If you watch the Billie Jean concert video he does it and you can’t see wires or anything. The FBI were always out to discredit Michael’s name and this is prove right there that they wanted him to be shamed.

  7. HEY FAKO JAKO YOUR THE FAKO HERE! DON B TALKIN TRASH ABOUT MICHAEL WHY DONT YOU GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE AND DO US ALL A FAVOR

  8. This is proof right here that Jacko was a faker and a fraud. He also molested young children. How about that you stupid Jackson lemmings. It’s in the FBI files so read it and weep…….

    🙂

  9. Ok….the FBI didn’t have better things to do then expose MJ’s moonwalking? What do I my taxes for? This is the most rediculous FBI budget expense i have ever seen there should be an inquiry into this ppl/ Was this during Clinton’s presidency? I might blieve it then i guess

  10. I never saw any damn strings or ropes? What kind of grease did they use?
    Michael is dead because of these maggots! They killed him!

  11. LEAVE MICHAEL ALONE! I LOVE HIM ! MICHAEL IF YOUR THERE DONT TAKE NOTIVE OF THESE ASSCLOWNS WHO ARE SULLY YOUR NAME? I KNOW YOU ARE A PURE SOLE AND ONE DAY WILL COME BACK JUST LIKE JESUS DID HUH. THE FBI ARE CROOKS ALL OF THEM I BLIEVE THEY KILLED MARYLIN MONROE AND SHOT JFK TOO, SUM DAY THEY TRUTH WILL COME OUT AND YOUR ALL GOIN TO JAIL FOR GOOD. KARMA IS GOING TO GET YOU ONE DAY SO WATCH OUT. MICHAEL NEVER FAKED ANYTHING HE WAS THE MOST TRUTHFUL GUY IN THE WORLD HE LOVED EVERYONE AND THIS IS HOW YOU ALL PAYED HIM BACK. GOD HELP YOU ALL

  12. The FBI can kiss my ass this is so wrong on so many fronts bitch! Who do they thinks they are? Michael was the most talemted dancer in pop, know one could dance like him, he was unique and there will never be anyone like him ever again. The FBI were out to get Michael from the beginning and now their trying to shame him after his death? I hate the people who are doing this! RIP Michael we love you dearly and know you were moonwalking! Fuck the haters!!!

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