17.7 C
London
Tuesday, December 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentKatie Price Received Daily Brain Botox Injections Before Jungle Show

Katie Price Received Daily Brain Botox Injections Before Jungle Show

LOS ANGELES - USA - Ex-model and author of 33 books, Katie Price, has been having daily botox doses injected into her brain cavity to prepare herself for a new reality show in the jungle.

ai

The famous British author, Katie Price, who has penned over thirty books but never actually read them, has been receiving daily botox injections into her brain cavity from one of Hollywood’s most sought after celebrity plastic surgeons.

The pioneering technique was developed solely for celebrity trash who are addicted to the botulism injections that destroy their faces irreversibly.

“I developed this for the stupid f*cks who come to my surgery who have more money than sense. This limey broad with rock hard balloons for t*ts and a set of lips that look like sausages comes into my office and asks for more botox in her already bloated face. I just see dollar signs and a way to give this broad some of the karma she deserves back, like defacing herself so she looks like a mushroom head. Well, I came up with injecting botox into her skull with an IV drip linked up to a monster f*cking pump,” Doctor Corey Hymen, told the LA Times.

The botox was pumped into Katie Price’s brain sometimes twice a day in an effort to rejuvenate her youthful thought process, at least that is what the doctor told her.

“Her IQ borders on the retarded anyway, so I told her that injecting botox into her frontal cortex and cerebellum, could in effect increase her low intelligence levels to that of a dog or a cat. She just handed me more cash and I plugged the syringe straight in. Once that sh*t sets, her tiny brain is gonna be like f*cking concrete,” the foul-mouthed surgeon added.

Katie Price was very happy with the procedure and grunted unintelligibly whilst waving her breasts around wildly on the flight to Australia to start another stint of I’m a Celebrity yesterday.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!