Britney Spears Takes Out Restraining Order on Herself

LOS ANGELES - CA - Britney Spears, the ailing former pop mime artist, has taken out a restraining order on herself because she does not know what she is doing and has no control over herself any more.

Britney’s lawyers today were ordered by herself to put a restraining order on herself.

Judge Al Mannington has agreed that Britney, who has no control of her finances or thought processes, should be restrained from being within 10 metres of herself.

Earlier on in the day Britney tried to put a restraining order on her pet poodle Shitsy.

To date, Britney has put restraining orders on her mother, father, sisters, cousins, uncles, Sam Lutfink, Kevin Cheddarslime and her two kids.

Last week Britney wanted to put a restraining order on Governor
Schwarzenegger, but her lawyers had to tentatively inform her that she
does not know him.

The Los Angeles court system has been brought to its knees with the sheer number of Britney Spears restraining orders that have been processed.

A disgruntled paralegal told the Daily Squib: “Can you imagine the amount of paperwork we have to go through every time Britney wants to put a restraining order on someone? She has the money, so we take it. What can you do?”

The Britney restraining order on herself will go into effect from midnight Sunday. Britney, who does not have any control over her mind or thought processes, will then be ordered to stay away from herself indefinitely.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

9 hours ago

Sleazy Labour Liars Prove Election Promises Do Not Mean Anything in UK

LONDON - England - The sleazy Labour liars who said anything to get elected have…

18 hours ago

Brexit Never Happened Anyway – Labour EU Union Was Inevitable

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Keir Starmer is leading the way for an EU union, but…

2 days ago

“Comrades, Labour is Banning Democracy by Banning Local Elections”

GRIMSBY - England - The Labour Party has banned democracy in Soviet Britain by banning…

2 days ago

The UK is a Davos ‘Great Reset’ Experiment Under Starmer’s Labour

LONDON - England - Europe is too big to test the Great Reset, so this…

2 days ago

Types of Home Health Technology for Older Adults

LONDON - England - As we all get older, it's always great to get a…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.