Britney Eats Big Mac During MTV Performance

Britney Spears made a spectacular return to showbusiness last night when she performed at the MTV awards by consuming a supersize Big Mac meal and a large tub of chocolate ice cream whilst simultaneously miming to her new smash hit song.

Britney Spears’ first major performance in three
years, at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, has been hailed as a huge success by her entourage.

The Squib’s Gordon Lightfoot said her performance would “go
down in the history books as being one of the funniest to grace the MTV
Awards”.

Her ex-boyfriend Justin Analcake and R&B star Diarihanna watched in awe.

Analcake took four awards, including top male celebrity autotune mimer, while Diarihanna scooped video of the year for Bucket.

‘Mac Attack’

Spears, who was nominated for many awards, opened the
show dressed in a sequinned bikini and knee-high boots, performing her
new single Gimme More. She got ‘more’ when halfway through her mime act she waved at her assistant to bring her some junk food.

She ate it… it was my burger, it was mine, it was m-i-i-i-i-n-e

Perez Hilton
Celebrity Sleaze Bagger

Our correspondent said the performance highlight included Britney “gulping down a Bigmac and fries whilst attempting to mime to her song Gimme More”.

The singer “belched loudly” and “looked as though she completely loved the art of lip-synching”, he said.

Celebrity Sleaze Bagger Perez Hilton opined: “She is the best. Everybody loves Britney’s lip-synchs, I especially loved the bit where she burped and brought up some sick by accident.

“I was ecstatic. It was so good I farted. It was loose. It was embarrassing. And I loved it!”

‘It Blew

Everything Else Away‘

MAIN MTV AWARD WINNERS

Video of the year – Diarihanna, Bucket

Male artist of the year – Justin Analcake

Female artist of the year – Turgid

Best group – Fall Out Twink

MTV Awards: Winners in full

Singer and producer Acorn added that “she has got so much hot air that it blew everything else away”.

“She seemed hungry… you could tell by the expression on her face, when she saw that Big Mac…BLAM!” he said.

“Instead of just blocking out the hunger and doing her thang, you could tell she was thinking about some serious mac and fries actions.”

The performance comes after a year when Spears publicly
shaved her vagina in a fast food restaurant, went into rehab and fought husband Kevin Cheddarslime for
custody of their two sons.

Diarihanna‘s Bucket, which spent 56 weeks at number one
in the UK, took MTV’s single of the year award, proving that the music business died horribly many years ago.