17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusinessSalmond Reveals Scottish Currency

Salmond Reveals Scottish Currency

GLASGOW - Scotland - Scottish National Party, leader, Alex Salmond, has revealed the country's new Scottish currency today in a city centre chip shop.

 

“Aye, we’ve finally cracked it. Forget the poond sterling, or the euro, looky what we got here,” Salmond said pointing to a counter decked out with deep fried mars bars in batter.

The new currency will be used in different denominations, for example, one very large battered mars bar would be worth four battered mars bars. There are also smaller battered mars bars which could be used for smaller purchases.

“You’se can go in a shop noo and buy a deep fried battered mars bar with a deep fried battered mars bar. But don’t forget, if you’re holding a load of battered mars bars, you might actually get battered by someone and your stash stolen. Remember to keep your new Scottish currency safe, maybe in your stomach,” Angus McFenster, the newly appointed Chancellor and Treasurer of Scotland told local news stations today.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!