17.7 C
London
Monday, December 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusinessHow to Invest Like Soros and Buffett

How to Invest Like Soros and Buffett

NEW YORK - USA - So, you want to trade like the big boys eh? Here are some helpful tips on investing like Soros and Buffett.

ai

First of all to invest like Soros or Buffett, you must have a minimum of $500 billion in your account. If you do not have that amount of money, then you can’t achieve the investment targets required.

“When you have a near unlimited margin, you can pretty much buy or sell anywhere on the chart as long as your team of highly paid chartists and researchers think it’s okay. Entry points are not a problem when you can stay in a trade for ten years without even breaking a sweat through all the noise. Warren Buffett says buy and hold, yes, but only if you can afford it. George Soros says buy in a bubble, yes only if you can afford it. In other words, to make billions, one must first start off with billions, anything less is doomed to failure. Remember, the fundamental point about the big boys is that they do not think about money. If you have to think about money, then you lose, that’s the difference between them and the majority,” Donald Franken, an investment banker at Banque de Societal told the Financial Times.

Keys to Making Billions

1) You must have a minimum of $500 billion in the bank before investing

2) Employ the best researchers and programmers

3) Avoid paying tax at all costs utilising offshore accounts

4) Lobby powerful politicians, presidents.

5) Give some money to good causes, be seen as a philanthropist

6) Have a direct line to the dark side for that special insider info..shhh

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!