Banker Sacked For Getting a Conscience

LONDON - England - A banker, who was sacked on Tuesday for getting a sudden pang of conscience, is set to sue his former investment bank, an employers tribunal has revealed.

 

This is an increasing problem amongst banking institutions where bankers suddenly start to think about what they are doing, and something they thought they never had suddenly crops up — a conscience.

“I’ve seen it in so many institutions. Suddenly they realise that what they are doing is an inherently evil act which hurts millions of people. Sometimes they just jolt up in their office chair and start crying or look around and simply walk out of the room,” resident psychologist for investment firm, JNC Paribas told Investment Weekly.

Many firms are now sacking bankers who get a conscience, and are trying to vet new employees so that they only employ the most psychotic.

“You can’t have bankers with a conscience. Are you kidding me? It would be like having an executioner with a conscience, they’d let everyone off. I sacked two of them yesterday, I had asked them to strip the assets of millions of people for profit, they hesitated for too long, so I cut the fuckers out. They’re gone, they’re history, they can go and swim with the rest of the scum on main street,” Stanley Weisenstein, head of corporate acquisitions at Warburg Murther and Pascoe in New York told the FT.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: bankersbanks

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

6 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

17 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

19 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.