17.7 C
London
Friday, December 20, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusiness#MeToo Business Dynamics: "Hiring Women is Unknown Risk"

#MeToo Business Dynamics: “Hiring Women is Unknown Risk”

NEW YORK - USA - Big finance companies in Wall Street have a cure for #MeToo, avoid women, and don't hire them.

ai

Many high end businesses are now not hiring women for a very good reason, #MeToo.

Male bosses are advising the limit of risk, and this includes no dinner with female colleagues, never sit next to them on flights, do not talk to them in a room alone, book a hotel room on another floor, never hire them unless extremely necessary.

“Essentially big finance has cut off all ties with women, simply because they are too high risk. You not only have risk of saying the wrong thing by accident and being #MeToo pilloried, or having a woman accuse you of sexual misconduct, or the added risk for the business with women becoming pregnant adding on huge costs like maternity leave. The list is too long to mention here, but we just don’t hire them anymore. It’s as simple as that,” one CEO at a top trading firm in Wall Street revealed.

Even talking to a woman at work is now risky because of the #MeToo era, anything a man says can be construed as sexist, offensive or demeaning.

“We have one who works on our floor. We just nod at her or grunt a hello and walk past. You just can’t say anything else because of the lawsuits and Twitter,” a scared male employee revealed.

The risk limiting is also now extending to the White House, where Vice President Mike Pence recently revealed that he avoids dining with women other than his wife.

“The golden rule from now on is never speak to a female colleague at work, avoid them at all costs. If you have to speak to a woman and it is necessary for the job, you must have at least four witnesses present, and all the doors open, even if it is meant to be a private matter. The best way to avoid all of the hassle is not hiring women, and we are adopting this rule as number one. We just can’t function properly with that kind of threat hanging over us every day, so we limit the risk by deleting the risk, you know what I mean?” another Wall Street boss revealed.

Looks like the days of the Wolf of Wall Street are far gone.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!