Germany Bans Naked Shorts

BERLIN - Germany - The ban on speculative short-wearing on sunny days hit short-wearers across the board on Wednesday, with the summer clothes market plunging to a four-year low.

Germany said naked short sales, swimming trunks, and string vests on Germany’s streets will be prohibited from now through March 31, 2011.

“You will not wear naked shorts anymore, only trousers or ledehosen will be permitted. If you are on a nudist beach then you will be required to wear absolutely nothing, not even swimming trunks,” finance minister, Klaus von Horst told German state television news networks.

Naked shorts are seen as a major threat to Germans, especially when the people wearing the shorts have knobbly knees or their legs are too pale. Analysts were however sceptical that the move would be successful in taming the naked short wearing public.

“We know that there will be people wearing naked shorts, maybe in their homes or in secret locations. This is why we have established a new police force to go out there and find these people who are flouting the law by wearing shorts – especially anyone who wears those offensive Speedo swimming trunks,” Minister for Justice, Gerta Schlampe said on Wednesday.

Help Support Independent Publishers

PLEASE SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share

Recent Posts

Meghan Markle Farted in My Soup Claims Sentebale Worker

MASERU - Lesotho - A distraught Sentebale charity worker recalls the moment Meghan Markle farted…

9 hours ago

Ukraine Needs to Keep On Brave Fight Despite Trump and Putin Intransigence

LONDON - England - Ukraine has been putting up a brave fight despite many Western…

22 hours ago

Rockett Launches Mullins Family into Grand National Orbit

AINTREE - England - This year's Grand National was a spectacular race, propelling the Mullins…

1 day ago

New Kawasaki CORLEO Four-legged Robot People Can Ride

OSAKA - Japan - Kawasaki Heavy Industries introduces the CORLEO, a groundbreaking hydrogen-powered, four-legged robotic…

1 day ago

Sanitising the Internet – World Economic Forum – Cyber Pandemic

COLOGNY - Switzerland - The World Economic Forum (WEF) outlines the multiple threats that could…

2 days ago

Family Arrested in Deal, Kent – Sector 14 – After Flouting Travel Restrictions

SCUNTHORPE - England - We are happy to announce the arrest and liquidation of a…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.