17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusinessBank of England to Give Everyone £10,000

Bank of England to Give Everyone £10,000

LONDON - England - Mervyn King, the Bank of England's chairman, announced today, that he will give everyone in England and Wales £10,000 cash so as to kick start the ailing economy.

The Royal mint has been working overtime for the past few weeks printing up billions of pounds to fill the economic black hole left by years of negligent rule by the previous chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown.

Called, ‘Quantitative Easing’ the idea is to print so much money that the pound sterling will be practically worthless. But look on the bright side — at least we would have a lot of cash in our pockets.

“Good News”

“Every citizen in England and Wales will receive £10,000 cash from the Bank of England. You can do as you wish with the £10,000. You can buy a mars bar with it or a lollipop, you may even be able to stretch yourself to buying a packet of crisps as well. Because of devaluation, your £10,000 is equivalent to 60 pence a year ago,” Mervyn King said from his plush Mayfair residence.

There may even be plans by the government to drop the money from the air but this idea may have to be shelved because of Health and Safety concerns.

Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe’s president, yesterday commended the Bank of England on its actions with a message of solidarity for mirroring his countries economic success.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!