17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusinessExperts: FTSE 100 Up Now But Labour Win Will See 70% Drop

Experts: FTSE 100 Up Now But Labour Win Will See 70% Drop

LONDON - England - A Labour win in May will see a drop of over 70% in the FTSE 100 stock market's value over the course of Labour's tenure under the radical control, a team of financial institutions have warned.

 

“Be prepared to see your pension value drop by over 80%. House prices will be decimated as vast Labour taxes on property owners bite. Buy to Let landlords will be a thing of the past as Labour punishes them hard with inhibitive taxation. The City, will have bonuses capped as Miliband panders to the proposed EU curtailing laws.

“In Miliband’s post honeymoon period, he will announce the end of the Pound Sterling and adoption of the Euro currency. This will be a collectivist Soviet period where Britain’s wealth through property will be redistributed to the poor countries of Europe. The value of the euro is lower than the pound, and there will be additional loss for many in Britain.

“To fund Miliband’s welfare reforms and boost cheap house building efforts for the unemployed, Miliband will not only raid pensions but will apply for more loans to fund his projects. This will seal the former United Kingdom’s fate further as it is still entrenched in a deficit.

“This time, your grand children’s children’s children will be paying for what Miliband is going to do to this country.

“There are even plans to introduce a people’s banking system, where collectivised wealth from the former rich will be re-distributed amongst the poor.

“Labour’s aim is also to reverse privatisation of rail, utilities and other public services.

“This radical change in approach to finances and politics will thus see a fall of over 70% in value of the FTSE 100 impoverishing millions of people in the former Britain.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

5 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve heard that Labour will increase death tax so that majority money goes to the state. I agree totally why should people’s kids get money for nothing?

  2. Thanks for making up my mind I’m voting Labour. I can’t wait to see rich people squirm. If youve got nothing to lose vote Labour if youve got everything to lose be scared v. scared Soak the richbwahahahaha

  3. In mainland Europe most of the population rents. It is only in the UK where people are obsessed with owning property. I welcome what Labour would do and we would all join the rest of the EU as renters. The end of private property will be a good thing.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!