“The looters of 2011 are all rehabilitated and cured. It was actually quite a simple operation to cure the majority of the looters and vandals who perpetrated such heinous bouts of rioting during the late Summer 2011. We simply took them on weekly excursions to the British Museum in London to show them that looting is a terrible crime and must be stopped at all costs,” Angela Brinkinstowe, a health worker at the government’s Loot Less Initiative told the Daily Mail.
The weekly visits to the British Museum have successfully curbed the mass looting instincts of the rioters.
Lee Spinks, 23, from Hackney, who was caught looting in the Summer of 2011, was philosophical about the visits to the British Museum: “I was caught looting a flat screen TV. They put me in jail for that, but I see here an ancient Egyptian artefact from Thebes possibly priceless, and I see Ancient Roman and Greek artefacts that are beyond any price tag, and I think to myself, were these objects taken from Coventry or Yorkshire?”
Another former looter said: “Where the hell did all this stuff come from? I’m a mere amateur next to this amount of pilfering. It’s a good thing I’m retired now, I feel truly humbled.”
Next week the ex-looters will have an excursion to the Royal Bank of Scotland building in Central London.
This is like the British version of the Onion. I love it.